Polyamory relationships are when both partners are in a committed and consensual non-monogamous relationship. That means one or either partner can see other people outside of the relationship. Poly is different from swinging or “wife swapping” it is about more than just having sex with other partners outside of the core relationship. Many people are under the impression that being in a poly relationship is simply about sex, but that isn’t necessarily the case. Polyamory is not everyone’s cup of tea but for those that practice poly are comfortable with their relationship.
Can Polyamory Work?
Poly and monogamy both have success stories and both have ended in disaster. The divorce rate currently sits at 50% for traditional marriages, same sex marriages don’t have any statistics yet. What this does teach us is that it polyamorous relationships have as much chance of being successful as any other type of relationship. That doesn’t mean that poly works for everyone but here are some things to consider before you jump into a poly relationship.
- Jealousy: If you consider yourself the jealous type then poly will never work for you. That doesn’t mean that jealousy doesn’t happen in a poly relationship but it is very rare and typically not sexual jealousy.
- Communication: Communication is everything in a poly relationship. You need to communicate what you want/need from your partner, what your expectations are in the relationship and you need to be able to listen.
- Insecurity: If you are constantly afraid that your partner will leave you or you feel you don’t deserve them then poly is probably not for you. Chances are good you won’t feel comfortable having your partner gone for the night and spending it with someone else. Dealing with your self-esteem and your own insecurities should come long before you embark in a poly relationship.
- Time: Do you have the time to give your attention to another person. While you may feel that love should have no boundaries and monogamy is not for you all of the relationships in your life deserve attention, do you have the time to do that? If you and your current partner can barely squeeze in date night once a month how are you going to make time for yet another relationship.
There are millions of happy people that practice polyamory and it can be extremely fulfilling. Choose your partners carefully, communicate openly and most importantly enjoy yourself.